Direct from Dell

Generally speaking, you'd probably consider me a fan of Dell.  I've been using and recommending their desktops and laptops for a decade, indeed I'm typing this on a trusty C640 Latitude. 

But there are days when I'm not so sure my loyalty is justified.  My wife's Dimension desktop, bought two and a half years ago has spent more time down than up.  We've replaced the hard drive... twice.  Last time they also replaced the motherboard, power supply and RAM.  It worked fine for awhile... except that sound card diagnostics all check out, and the speakers are fine... but we get no sound, no matter how many drivers we reload.  And we've spent untold hours on the phone with their tech support, leading to a tech showing up, replacing something... only to have another  crash 2-6 months down the road.  We run anti-virus, and my wife just does a little email checking and writing on the system... so I've long suspected the motherboard, or some sort of short on the chassis.

But I can't convince Dell of the same thing.  I've suggested replacing the box/motherboard on each of the last three rounds with them, but to no avail.  Each tech sincerely believes that they've finally solved the problem.

So, when the machine stopped booting again last week, we both threw up our hands and decided we'd had enough; no more troubleshooting, Mr. Dell, replace this box!  Here's how this is playing out:

So, we've spent the afternoon watching the rain bands from Katrina come in, and talking to Dell CSR's in various departments. 

Customer Care 1, 5:15pm

The "Dell Customer Care" customer service representative explained that this was a technical support matter, so she refered my wife to "Hardware Support".

Hardware Support 1, 5:30pm, case #110207552

Once we reached Hardware Support, the baby woke up, so my wife transfered the phone to me.  Rather than complying with the troubleshooting request,  I asked the hardware tech to take a look at the call log for the system, and to observe the amount of troubleshooting that we'd done in the past... and explained that we'd done enough troubleshooting and wanted to replace the system.  He explained that neither he nor his supervisor could authorize this, and that this was a matter for Dell Customer Care.  I protested that Customer Care had said it was a matter for Hardware Support, but allowed them to transfer me.

Customer Care 2, 5:42pm, case #110209312

Andy the CSR listens, and explains that it's a technical support issue.  I ask to speak to a manger.

6:10pm

Jason, the Floor Manager, kindly agrees that we deserve a replacement... and explains that there's nothing he can do about it, because the Hardware Support group fields the technical issues.  I suggest that this is more than a technical issue, but have to accept his final offer: being transfered to speak to a manager in Hardware Support...

Hardware Support 2, 6:15pm... nice classical hold music
6:30 Tiya, the HW CSR, listens kindly, and gets me to a manager (after two more bouts of hold music)

6:49pm-7:26pm Sebastian the Hardware Support Floor Manager
The theme:
    Dell: We can't authorize a system exchange, but we can send a tech to replace the hard drive/motherboard, so your system will work again
    Me: But that's proven to be a temporary solution the last two times it's been tried; it'd be cheaper on Dell's part to just replace the thing, and it'd certainly make this customer happier.

    Dell:  We can't authorize a system exchange, we can send a tech to replace the hard drive/motherboard, so your system will work again.

Interesting detail: I asked 'Is there anyone in Dell Corporation who can authorize a system exchange?'
After two rounds of explanation, he answers the yes/no question 'No'.   My belief was otherwise... and I really do think it's in Dell's interest from both support cost and relationship perspectives to just exchange the system. 

So, after going back and forth for ~45 minutes, he grants my request to speak to his manager, who he assures me will tell me the same thing.  I sit on hold for awhile longer,  and he comes  back to tell me that the manager will have to call me back, within the next half hour.

There's got to be an easier way.

What am I doing wrong?